Today I was struck by the green monster. Jealousy. Envy. I know that nothing good comes out of jealousy. Jealousy breeds discontent, anger and bitterness. Those emotions are exhausting and I'm tired enough.
Since I hate when people are evasive with me, I'm going to suck it up and be honest about what me jealous.
I read someone's status on Facebook. Yes, I'm jealous over what someone posted on Facebook. I promise I'm not shallow.
That person was talking about spending the day out with friends, visiting a yarn store and having a leisurely lunch. I was immediately struck dumb with jealousy. I started thinking all kinds of snarky things like "I wish I had the time to spend all day out with friends, doing what I want, spending money and not having to rush!"
If I get honest though, that's not why I was jealous. I was jealous because her status didn't end with a statement of how exhausted or in pain she was from her day out with friends.
I'm jealous of her health.
I can't sit in this long and the only way I know how to change how I feel is to be thankful. Thankful for where I am in my life right now. I can't live in the if onlys, the why me, the unfairness.
I need to be thankful that if I want to I can go shopping with friends because I'm alive. Yes, I will be exhausted and most likely in a lot of pain for several days. But I can do it. I'm thankful that my husband has work which requires me having to work because that means we have a paycheck. I'm thankful to have three healthy, busy children who need me. I'm thankful for my sweet bulldog who needs me even more.
No one ever promised me life would be easy and I've learned that life isn't always fair. I've also learned a lot of life is what you make of it. You can choose to stay in the self pity, anger, jealousy or not.
Believe I'm not the type who spouts rainbows, kittens and unicorns. I'm a realist, lots of time a pessimist and sometimes a down right grump. And that's ok. I just don't stay there long. Life is just plain better when you can be thankful.
